OK, full disclosure right off the bat: this is
a direct rip-off from inspired by Alex Beam’s column in today’s International Herald Tribune, that NY Times of Europe newsthingy some say won’t be around in a few years because it’s made of paper, and paper is just so…uncool.
As I was reading his column I thought: separated at birth or joined at the demographic? Because my good Mr. Beam, we could be brothers.
How uncool am I? Let me count the ways.
1. Until a few months ago, I used to think Bluetooth was a disease and BluRay a sea creature.
3. A treo is a misspelling.
4. I don’t own an iPhone, but I do have an iPod Mini. The blue one Borat says is for girls.
5. My organiser is made of paper. I input with a pen.
6. My cell phone is nearly as old as my 10-year-old kid, who calls me Daddy, not Ian.
7. Text messages are a pain in the ass.
8. Skype is for people who can’t find their phone.
9. MySpace should come with a health warning.
10. My profile on Facebook is set to: Block the World
11. Our TV is square, and bulges out the back. We don’t have a TiVo, a Slingbox, Pay TV, Satellite or Video on demand.
12. I’ve never downloaded music or movies.
13. The last CD I bought was in 2004.
14. If I want to watch a movie or listen to new music, I take it out of the library or go to the local video rental shop.
15. I’ve never seen The Sopranos.
16. I don’t own a car.
17. I get around everywhere by bicycle.
18. I don’t have a tattoo. I have no piercings.
19. I like living in Germany.
20. I think expatriates who bitch about life here should vote with their feet.