Said to have been discovered in a Baltimore church cellar in 1692, actually penned in 1927 and cranked out decades later on fake parchment to adorn the bedroom walls of millions of kids like me who came of age in the seventies, Desiderata is a modern junk classic, its bite-sized peace ‘n’ love wisdom wedges one of the last twitches of a sixties generation that had already begun to trade its tie-dyed shirts and cut-offs for leisure suits and MBAs. With bloggers having cut themselves off into their own little world so far they even rate their very own health tips, comes a new Desiderata.

For Bloggers only.

Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass.

If you compare your hit count to that of other bloggers, you will become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser counts than yours can muster. Enjoy your favourite posts as well as your drafts. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, for you will probably never make so much as a fucking dime from blogging.

Exercise caution in choosing a provider, for the Internet is full of con artists and thieves. But let this not blind you to the virtues of moving your blog to WordPress.com. Many strive for massive hit counts, and everywhere life is full of miracles. Be yourself. Above all, do not feign knowledge, for readers will not hesitate to tell you that you are full of shit. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all the scrapers, sploggers, and bloggers who never learned the difference between it’s and its and loose and lose, it is perennial as come-ons for Viagra.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in the face of sudden loss of access. But do not distress yourself with thoughts your blog has been deleted permanently. Many fears are born of insomnia and lack of caffeine. Beyond a wholesome wheat toast, eat whatever you like. You are a child of your parents. You have a right to post, and to sometimes state the obvious. And whether or not it is clear to you why or how, no doubt the search engines are making sure that someone looking for porn will land at your blog instead.

Therefore, be at peace with Google, whatever your level of search optimisation may be. And whatever your postings midst the noisy confusion of millions of other bloggers, keep peace with your soul. For all its spam, viruses and broken links, it is still a functional network.

Brush after meals. Strive to post regularly.

© 2007 lettershometoyou
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