Second in a series. Part one’s back here.
So between getting the go-ahead to fly to Munich to bake the pizza and actually getting there, a few things have to be worked out over the phone.
“So-oo….” the producer asks me, “Tell me how your pizza is going to be different from the Italian and the German one.”
I have to think fast. What is a German pizza? As we all know, the thin-crust all-fresh Italian pizza is the perfection we should all strive for, but German? All I can think of is that after harfing my way through a good dozen or so pizza joints throughout this land, it’s a disappointing mess, but in exactly what way, I couldn’t tell you. So with a nod to Italy, I play up mine rather than compare with the unknown.
“Well… you know how Italian pizza is so thin sometimes, you could wrap it up and eat it like a Crêpe Suzette? My pizza will have a thick, slightly chewy but at the same time very bread-like crust almost like a foccacia best eaten within 10 minutes out of the oven, the sauce will be somewhat hotter than what you may be used to, but without dominating the pizza, the toppings limited to two, maximum three. I like to keep it simple, and want to play up how anyone with the ingredients on hand can do the same at home, too. From scratch to table in a little over an hour.
“But I wouldn’t expect any fancy theatrics like spinning a floppy disc of dough above my head while belting out the finale from La Traviata or – God help us – God Bless America,” I warn her. “Before it has a chance to rise, my dough looks like a cross between barf and wet ceiling stucco.”
“Hey!” she says. “That sounds great! That’s the kind of stuff you’ve got to say on camera. You’ve got to play things up a little!”
I start to get anxious, wondering how all that would sound in my fractured German.
“Oh, and by the way, the toppings,” she goes on, “Each of you is going to make a salami pizza, so that we can at least have a level playing field there. But other toppings are up to you. Say, what are your other toppings going to be?”
“Well, I was thinki…”
“Oh – and did I tell you? You’ll probably have to make at least five, possibly seven pizzas, so you’ll be busy.”
“SEVEN pizzas?”
“Yeah, well, we’ll be shooting at an American-themed restaurant in the morning, and depending on how everything works out with the camera people, you’ll have to make two, possibly three there, then when we’re done, we’ll be driving into downtown Munich to a cooking school, where you’ll be making three, maybe four more. Those are the ones that will be judged in the taste test, which will be taken another 10-12 km away at a high school.”
I’m starting to think we should have talked a little more about that €100 honorarium.
Then, because I have a list of ingredients which include organic yeast, sea salt, authentic Italian pizza dough flour, tomato paste, salami and Santa Lucia mozzarella cheese, stuff you don’t find at your neighbourhood Aldi, I tell her it might be best if I bought them myself and schlepped them down with me.
“You sure you can take all those ingredients with you?” she asks. “It sounds like a lot to carry.”
“Nah, no problem,” I tell her. “But do you have a pizza stone? I can do it in a pan if you like, but I usually bake it on a stone. Makes for a nicer crust. Doesn’t sweat.”
“Uhh… we really want you to do it in a pan,” she says. “That’s the idea people here have of American pizza – baked in a pan, thick crust, that sort of thing.”
“Ummm, yeah, OK! I can bake it in pan if you like.”
Not that I ever have, mind you.
© 2008 lettershometoyou
Next post: the shoot.
The banner photograph shows the town of Britannia Beach, BC, Canada, where I grew up. It's home. But I don't live there anymore.
I hardly know what to comment on first….. at this stage I think I’d be bowing out of the proceedings! you’re much gamer than I am. or should that be more game?
You don’t need to be nervous, Ian. I’m doing that for you….
Yo! The devil is always in the details isn’t he/she/it, Ian?
Remember the Canuckistani mantra and you’ll do fine:
Stay calm – Be brave – And watch for the signs.
Can you send me some of that pizza crust you’re whipping up?? Sounds dee-lish.
When are you in Munich? If I’m in town, and you have the time, let’s have a beer.
Ooops–just noticed that you’ve done it already! Scratch the last comment (and thisone, too!)
Scratched – but maybe some other time? I would have had absolutely no time that day – it was non-stop.
nurse, brightfeather and cat: only thing I have left to be nervous about is how they put it all together and how many times my wife is going to correct my German.
ms barclay – I thought you of all people would have picked up on “stucco the ceiling”
“my dough looks like a cross between barf and wet ceiling stucco”
Nah, just looks like barf to me.
Glad I’ve seen the other photos of the finished product, or I’d be seriously worried.
During the shoot I had to stir it and stir it until they had it shot from as many angles as they could. Yum!
I’m loving this. Looking forward to the next installment.
have you ever had japanese pizza? it’s called okonomiyaki and is delicious. it isn’t really resembling either italian, german or american pizza but is, well, delicious.
Hi bine – never heard of Japanese pizza – what’s different about it?
A heavy suitcase full of ingredients stuffed infront of your seat on the plane… doesn’t quite have the charm of see tennis profis storing away their tennis rackets on an airplane on their way to London or Paris.
Great story. Can’t wait for the next installment. Especially interested in knowing you won, what your competitors were like, what a German pizza is, and any other production details.
*This is a test … please do not adjust your sets*
Did that work, ian?
Yay! That’s better.
Sure is!
japanese pizza is baked in a pan, too, and the dough (or rather batter) is made of grated yams, flour, dashi and finely shredded cabbage. it is then topped with ingredients of choice like meat, fish, octopus, shrimp and/or vegetables like spring onions, spinach, kimchi or leeks. after it has been baked it is sprinkled with a special thickish, sweetish sauce, pickled ginger, seaweed strips and papery thin dried fish flakes that irritatingly keep moving and wavering on top of the hot pizza like they are alive. there was also something that resembled processed cheese or mayonaise, i couldn’t figure out what it was. i think it resembles an omelet more than pizza, but i was amazed to find how good it was. if you come across a places that makes that stuff you have to try it!
Oh oh! Crazy. Good luck. Soon everyone living in German will at some point have been on some sort of reality tv show/documentary/bake off.
What, you too? Tell me!
bine – that pizza sounds like an adventure – were you in japan when you discovered it?
My pizza pan has holes in the bottom of it. Helps keep the crust from getting soggy.
eh, sorry, belated reply, i’m a bit overworked these days. no, i was never in japan, i had this in düsseldorf, which seems to be japanese capitol of germany.
i tried to watch that tv show, but our silly terrestrial tv receiver seems to refuse pro7. it doesn’t look like there’s a podcast or something? did you videotape it?
Hi bine – yes I did tape it, so did a friend, and the show producers themselves also phoned today to say they are sending a DVD along in the mail. If they give the OK, I will post a video – and if they don’t, I’ll send you a copy, if you like.