04
Sep
08

Definitions of stress

1. Driving along at normal speed along a two-lane highway with your 90-year-old mother-in-law bundled up in the passenger seat on the way home to Hamburg in the late afternoon when you see a small car pulling out to pass a semi-trailer coming against you and think well since I’ve got the lights on he’ll see me and pull back in behind the truck but then you realise the jerk is actually going to try to pass the semi-trailer with his gutless wonder and just when you think the two of you are going to smash into each other head-on any second you hit the binders and veer off to roll through the rough grass shoulder leaning on the horn and screaming FUCK! WHAT AN IDIOT! as he’s still only half-way past the semi which has also pulled over as far as he can without landing in the ditch and you’re wishing you’d had the presence of mind to get the guy’s license number but of course all you can think of at a time like that is trying to stay on the road to make sure the both of you don’t get killed.

2. The body’s reaction to the mind’s desire to choke the living shit out of some driver who really deserves it.


6 Responses to “Definitions of stress”


  1. 1 lilalia
    September 4, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Oh my gawd, that must have been like experiencing a jolting shot of adrenaline, two minor heart attacks, and a brain burst all at once. Hope your mother-in-law slept through the incident. Glad to hear you have survived. The gods must be happy with you. I’d tell you to send the fellow an Irish whammy, but every time we do that, some of our golden stars of good deeds are erased from our tablets, so it really isn’t worth it.

  2. September 5, 2008 at 6:37 am

    My mother-in-law was wide awake but because she has only 30% vision, probably didn’t see what was happening until they were full in our faces.

    My wife said if there’s no way to catch the guy, at least we can hope he shit his pants.

    Unless of course he’s the type who does this sort of thing, in which case he’ll be selected from the gene pool sooner or later – hopefully taking nobody else with him.

  3. 3 Raul
    September 11, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    Unbelievable. Bad driving behavior should be punished!

  4. 4 J
    September 13, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    I hate driving in Germany.

    An aside – I posted almost the exact same definition of stress a few months ago.

  5. September 13, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    Hi J,

    I usually don’t mind driving here as long as it’s outside the city. In urban areas I’d just rather park and ride public transit or rent a bike.


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