30
Nov
08

Dr. Seuss asks Roald Dahl: whatever happened to The Leaky Brain?

The other day I searched in vain
For some sign of The Leaky Brainthe-leaky-brain-call-me

This lady, see, was so much fun
Among my reads was number one

The first I’d go to in my reader
Some days I’d wish I could go meet her.

But then one day near end of summer
She stopped posting.  What a bummer!

Did she get a fake ID
And go to live up in BC?

She failed to leave a mail address
Along her sidebar.  Such a mess!

I wonder if she’s still alive!
Not long ago she did survivethe-leaky-brain-acrobat-photoshop

A dive into the world of porn
We all laughed.  But then one morn,

She up and left.  Came back no more,
She only left an open door,

For comments still come far and wide
Though nowadays no source of pride.

Oh I know.  Just let me guess…the-leaky-brain
She’s found those candies in her dress

But choked on one while a-composing
Another post that’s based on hosing

Hunky guys who wear no shirt
Just another daytime flirt.

Or did those strippers she made fun of
Catch up with her and give her some of

That rice that she was yelling for?
Tell me please.  It’s such a bore

That I can’t find my Leaky Brain
Since she’s not here my life’s a pain.

Maybe she’s in North Korea
With Kim Jong-Il, caught diarrhea

Or is she now a Twitter victim?
In two-line bursts, her wit and wisdom

Lost among the pointless chatter
Of many things that do not matter.

Then again, she is a teacher.
Could it be that, like a preacher,

She had to keep her nose quite clean
Until the day her blog was seen

By the chairman of the school board
Who looked unfavour’bly toward

A teacher unafraid to show her cooter
Instead of teaching kids computer?

Although some blogs have had a boost
From their authors getting dooced

It seems our Leaky Brain has flown
Leaving me to sit and moan.

The web is full of jokes and stuff
Crap and garbage and plain fluff

‘Tis rare originality
Pokes through all that banality.

So if you find The Leaky Brain
The one whose drips were quite insane

Tell her to send a signal flare
Some sign of life.

Because

I

Care.


8 Responses to “Dr. Seuss asks Roald Dahl: whatever happened to The Leaky Brain?”


  1. December 1, 2008 at 7:44 am

    Agreed. The Leaky Brain was/is exceptional. Like the best fiction, her stories simply have to be true, even though they simply can’t be.

  2. December 1, 2008 at 10:03 am

    How to track her down, though? Maybe I should sift through my old emails, though I think I did too much of a purge a while back and deleted any address I had of hers.

    I just tried sending her a mail via the address she used to leave in comments. Came back undeliverable. :-(

  3. December 1, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    well if that post won’t entice her back I don’t know what will…..

  4. December 1, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    What about a bribe? Should I take up a collection?

  5. 5 larry
    January 9, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    I’m hoping the love bunny has stole her away for a long winter’s snuggle because my occasional clicking over to see hwat is new has lead to minor depression when the window opens on the same last post.
    Her odd little diatribes always took a left turn off the reality highway.
    Perhaps if we return to her cormer of the world an email every link in there we’ll find out something.

    • January 10, 2009 at 9:06 pm

      She was so out there. If there’s any justice she’s got a book deal and is furiously writing away. Either that or some student spotted her and she got fired / told to choose between blogging and her job. I just wish she’d give some sort of smoke signal.

  6. 7 Vodka and Ground Beef
    September 30, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    I love this!! I was away from blogging for awhile, experimenting with alcohol and hallucinogens, but now I’m back!


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