The incoherent ramblings of a clearly disturbed individual aside, most parents would agree that defending a decision which resulted in sending a seven-year-old would-be airplane pilot plunging to her death is pretty stupid.
On the other hand, we don’t want our kids to grow up to be wimps, afraid to take risks, push themselves, put themselves in a little danger to see if they can come out of it OK.
See that cliff? The little red-haired girl climbed it as part of a five-day Extreme Adventures camp we booked her into before leaving on holiday in Canada.
It’s a good thing she had that day of rock climbing, one day where with good instruction and the right gear, she was tested to do her best in a risky situation.
Because the other four days of this camp were anything but Extreme Adventures.
On day one, the kids walked about 2km to the Squamish Adventure Centre, played some games, and watched a movie.
Day Two was for mountain biking, though it really wasn’t. They had them riding along crushed gravel trails.
Whoa.
Day Three was for wakeboarding, a sport like water skiing. They spent most of the day getting to a lake 50km away to bob about in a boat as each kid took turns pulling the one single wetsuit on and off, and then trying to wakeboard.
The last day they took them to a lake for swimming. Swimming! Not exactly Extreme Adventure, but at least it involves getting a little wet.
Ah, but before swimming in the lake, they had to put on life jackets.
What??? I know about lawyers and liability, but life jackets to go swimming?
I clearly remember having checked the box beside FISH on the form which asked Does Your Child Swim Like
a Rock
a Dog
a Fish
And if she swims like a FISH, she doesn’t need a bloody LIFE JACKET!
She’d been in a day camp with them before, so I knew the first few minutes of Day One I’d be filling out release forms. But this time? They handed me such a stack of papers to sign, paragraphs to initial and have witnessed to fully absolve the District of Squamish of any and all liability should harm come to my child, it took nearly 20 minutes to get through it.
“It’s because there are private companies teaching the rock climbing and the wakeboarding,” they said. “It’s for their protection.”
But even after virtually telling them they could dangle my kid by the ankles from a cliff before dropping her head-first into a bear pit and I wouldn’t sue – couldn’t sue, because I’d signed that right away – I still went away happy, eagerly anticipating great tales of Extreme Adventure.
Instead she got one good day of rock-climbing and four days of pissing around, topped off by five hours on the final day sitting on the beach for five hours because she refused – and rightly so – to swim with a life jacket.
Not that she minded pissing around. At the end of the five days there was an evaluation form to fill out, and she was generally positive about the atmosphere at the camp, the counsellor and the other kids, so what the hell.
I couldn’t help thinking, though, that if this is the benchmark for what passes for adventure in a child’s life these days, we’re telling them it’s OK to be overly cautious in life, it’s OK to coast along without taking risks, it’s OK to be afraid of getting yourself in a little danger.
Life jackets.
I would start in on how hrrrmmmmfff when I was a kid before mountain biking, wakeboarding or bloody factor 45 sunblock was even heard of we’d tear out the back door without so much as a bottle of water, scamper up through the forest to find paths up through the rocks to the lake to go swimming and the only life vest was sitting miles away at the bottom of somebody’s boat under lock and key because who even bothered to wear one at all anyway?
Ah well. Even adults wear helmets skiing these days. Now that’s wimpy.
One day when I was 5 (late ’50s) I went next door to Bobby’s house, and stood by the back door and yelled, “Boooooobbbbbbbyyyyyyy” (it hurt my knuckles to knock, so I didn’t).
Bobby’s mome said, “He’s at school”. So, I decided to do what Bobby and I had been doing all summer. I went and “played in the bush”. “The bush” was a forest. When I got hungry, I went home. I did that a lot.
Fast forward to 2004. My grandson is 5. He wants to go play in “the brown grass” — his term for the bottom of a ravine next to our house. I keep my eye on him from a distance for a bit, and after that check up on him from time to time. A few hours later the FAND is screaming (literally) at us for the gross neglect with which treat our grandchildren, “letting them wander about unsupervised”. They on the other hand give their kids little electric ATVs to ride on in the street, and at 9 their kid is riding a mini-dirt-bike. Who is letting their kid do the more dangerous thing? Whose kid is more likely to develop self-reliance and a sense of self? Who knows, but the FAND and I clearly have different realities.
As for the 7-yr old and the plane — she was not the pilot-in-command, and did not make the fatel decision. The story reminded me of Jon-Benet Ramsey — another girl of similar age driven to her death by her parents lust for publicity.
FAND just for clarification would be the fzcking asshole next door….
And the Ramsey case – very good point.
Hmm. We think about this a lot. As a kid, I ran in the woods like a wild animal. But every mother was home to watch from afar or to hear if there was a cry. And kids were raped and murdered- we just didn’t hear about it. A serial killer (and pederast) who operated in my area was caught eight years ago: we lived at a corner where three states touched and he avoided recognition by doing a route through the three states so the authorities, who don’t compare across borders unless they realize a connection, didn’t realize te commonalities for 20 years. He killed an unknown number of boys and girls, two quite famous, the thought is more than 20.
I will be careful with my children. And with my spinal surgery (a result, we think of the two motorcycle accidents- with full helmet- and an overturned car)- I am very enthusiastic for helmets during biking and skiing.
I am sorry that the Extreme Adventure was anything but: 35 years ago I was swimming in lakes w/o a lifejacket (after a test) and in those days, we only had life jackets in the boat when sailing, didn’t even have to wear them. Then 8 years ago my co-worker’s son fell from a ship, hit his head, and drowned (found a wekk later). Life is just scary.
We’ve all read the horror stories. Every day in Bild you can read about another kid abused, neglected, even starved to death by their own parents, let alone what danger lurks outside your own four walls.
But the world isn’t scary unless you let yourself be scared by it.
I am not the Extreme type so I doubt I’d ever think of sending my kid to Extreme Camp (unless they thought of it themselves), but I do hope that if I have children I’ll feel fine with letting them run around on their own. I did that all the time as a kid but it seems that now people would be calling my parents in for neglect. :/
Some camps are Extreme in name only.
Sometimes what you think is pedestrian others think is extreme…
I want to echo the Jon-Benet Ramsey thought–I thought about bringing her up in the context of the original discussion on my site, but I felt that it would fan the flames in unhelpful ways during the most heated moments of discussion. Six year old children don’t know what they want and “allowing” kids that old to participate in serious beauty contests should be called child abuse.
Love that statement, it is sooo true:
“But the world isn’t scary unless you let yourself be scared by it.”
Won’t keep me from keep me from wearing a helmet when skiing or rock climbing, though. I’d like to expose myself to danger a few years longer
Very good point, how times have changed. I’ve owned several bikes in my life, but I never had a bike helmet.
I wear a bike helmet, though I’d rather not. If I were to get schmucked by a bus on the way to a work one day, there’s not a hell of a lot a helmet’s going to do to save me.
when mrs bb told me I had to wear a ski helmet for our US ski trip a few years back I said no way! No choice, the guests we were staying with had a rule. Since, I have never looked back… I ski more agressively, and my head is always warm. Everyone in NO wears ski helmets. Also, as a result of many reckless piste boarders, I now wear a back brace!!! Put your children in controlled situations to take risk… it teaches them alot!
I know what you’re saying, bb, but actually studies have shown that an increase in helmet usage has not resulted in a drop in serious ski injuries or deaths. Another argument against wearing them is that, like you said, those wearing them ski more aggressively and thus are at greater risk of accident.
Once I got old enough to realise just how many stupid physical risks I’d taken during my childhood and – miraculously – came out unscathed, I became a wimp.
I now take other kinds of risks.
“… those wearing them ski more aggressively and thus are at greater risk of accident.”
Yes. And place all around them in the risk of being hit. Been there, done that, was not funny. All by myself I managed a few skiing accidents, which involved no one but me and luckily only resulted in a split lip and such. This resulted in a lot of bruises, a slight concussion and increased weariness of other skiers. And a helmet. The guy (?) responsible split, btw.
I came across the first snow yesterday, at below 2000m! Looking forward to winter
Oh yeah, me too. I really want to go on a longer ski break this year. Two weeks is about right.