Have any of you wordpress.com bloggers out there checked out the new wordpress.com fun feature? Go to your dashboard and change your settings to Surprise me, then sit back and wait for the laughs to begin.
Monday morning in search of yucks midst dreary news of volcanic cataclysms, a fifth day of flight groundings throughout Europe, Polish state funerals in the wake of last week’s horrendous crash in Russia which wiped out a sizeable chunk of Poland’s elite, not to mention personal ailments including a left shoulder that’s half-hanging out of its socket, a left knee that feels like stretched ligaments – oh, and a blood test – all due to be hashed out over an appointment with my doctor later today, I went online.
My go-to place for all things comedy? The brand new wordpress.com hit count!
Used to be you’d go to your wordpress.com dashboard to find the same old graphic across the top of the page. Boooorring! OK, you could choose from its vast menu of Daily, Weekly, or Monthly statistics, but doing so was about as funny as waking up hung over in early November, 2004 realising your fellow citizens had chosen four more years of so-called leadership from the world’s most famous white-knuckle drunk.
No more. WordPress.com under its frolicky good-time Surprise me setting now has the Humanize button featuring links to upbeat, fun news stories that cheer your heart and put a smile on your face just before you head out the door into the harsh light of day.
The laughs behind Humanize are all based on how many hits you have, kiddies! How fun is that? For example, if you have 92 hits and click on Humanize it will tell you that there were also 92 people aboard American Airlines Flight 11. In case you haven’t been paying attention, that’s one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Centre on September 11, 2001!
Laugh? I needed to change my Depends:
Hey, it gets better! If you wait around for a little while as that hit count builds throughout the day, you can contemplate the fact that 290 people aboard Iran Air Flight 655 plunged to their deaths after the Americans blew it out of the air because its trigger-happy navy can’t tell the difference between a pterodactyl and a parrot! Or maybe they just don’t give a shit. Should it therefore have come as a surprise their military can’t tell the difference between a Reuters cameraman and a freedom fighter with a rocket launcher?
But I digress. There’s more!
If you have just one hit fewer than 92 – that’s 91 if you can do the math without the aid of GPS or the iPad calculator app – you get this:
The King David Hotel bombing? OK, an attack by Zionists against the British in Jerusalem only a year after the end of World War 2 has neither the spectacular hilarity of a good plane crash nor is it newsy fodder for light-hearted Larry King talk-show banter, but hey. We all needed another reminder via wordpress.com of just what a crazy world we live in.
I just hope I’m never hungry if ever visiting their offices. If this is what wordpress.com calls fun, I’d hate to see what their cafeteria calls food.