22
Mar
13

Showering neighbour discovers concept of curtain, doesn’t bother to use it

This is an update of my pissy little pre-ski-holiday-cum-hospital-stay rant about a neighbour directly across from us who seems to enjoy showering for an audience.

Germany Hamburg window with curtainThanks to all those who took the trouble to comment and who gave great advice.  This morning, I am going to take that advice, hobble over there and slip a message under his door.  It probably won’t end up on passive-aggressive notes dot cawm because it won’t be anonymous.  I am going to leave my mobile phone number so he can contact me if he’s got any questions.  It’ll be written in flawed German, but I don’t care.

You see, I was all set this morning to write a light-hearted little story about how our soap-on-a-rope guy now has a curtain covering his bathroom window.  Great!  Someone obviously told him something.

I hadn’t noticed a curtain there before.  Upon discovery, one of the first things I thought was that he put it there because – as we also recently discovered – he has a girlfriend!  Or is it his wife?  In any case, while standing behind my seated wife over this past weekend – weight all on the left leg, of course – giving her a neck massage, a figure with shower nozzle in hand displaying all the attributes of a female appeared in the window.  Those attributes swayed.  They brushed the window.  They were, in fact, not bad to look at.  I was going to dash over to the other room to get my camera for posterity – or perhaps anteriority – but knew that in my present condition she’d be dry by the time I retrieved the camera and got in position to get a decent shot away.

In any event, just as I was in the middle of writing that post  I realised I had to start all over, because as I raised my head to look outside – there he was.

Curtain brushed aside.  Same lather, different day.

If he has a curtain, why doesn’t he use it?

Now to translate that into German.


21 Responses to “Showering neighbour discovers concept of curtain, doesn’t bother to use it”


  1. March 22, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Your post reminds me of a lesson in my English book and I must admit this politeness is what I love the British for: An American was shown around, he arrived at a nudist beach…later he turned back to his host ” Is it considered proper to swim naked in a public place?” “No” the host replied ” but is considered improper to watch people bathing in a public place” ;-)

    • March 22, 2013 at 9:34 am

      Hi Tutti
      Yup, you’re right. There’s a time and place for everything. As pointed out in my first post, I’ve nothing against nudity in its place. In the sauna and elsewhere indicated, no problem. I go to the sauna and nude beaches myself. But this guy is in a private place, letting it all hang out in public. The glass is not frosted. The curtain is not being used. I live in this apartment and don’t feel that I should have to avoid my front window between the hours of 5am and 9am every morning to avoid the off-chance of seeing him shower once again.

  2. March 22, 2013 at 9:09 am

    If life gives you a peach, make peach juice, or something like that. Just point a webcam at his window, stream it at showeringneighbors.com and make fortune!

  3. March 22, 2013 at 9:25 am

    hahaha, I had a neighbor like that, back when I was a student. My flat mates and me used to watch him shower while having breakfast. I love the webcam idea by the way.

    if you need help with writing your hate mail in German, I’ll help you! Just tell me what you want to say :)

    • March 22, 2013 at 9:27 am

      It will not be hate mail, anemina, but thanks for the suggestion anyway. Maybe he really has no clue. I have a bad habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt, and with this first note that will be apparent.

      • March 22, 2013 at 9:31 am

        yeah, well, hatemail probably was the wrong word… and yeah, maybe he really has no clue. the neighbor I had certainly didn’t. but we didn’t dare tell him, it was too much fun to watch.

      • March 22, 2013 at 9:37 am

        If the arrangement worked out well for both sides, that’s great! Glad you enjoyed it. ;)

        I don’t want to speak for any of my neighbours, but it’s not working out for us.

  4. March 22, 2013 at 10:43 am

    If you had a big-assed camera lens like James Stewart in Rear Window, you could keep a better eye on things…

  5. March 22, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    Well, now we know. It’s his decision not to use it, not simple inattention to detail.

    Maybe the neighbors should hang a curtain on the outside of the window….

  6. March 22, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Someone of Facebook just commented that it’s a European thing, that in her days as a flight attendant the crew used to count the naked bodies sunning themselves on rooftops as they flew into Amsterdam. I don’t think this is the same situation. Doff your duds in the summer if that’s your thing, no problem. Don’t be in my face every day of the year cleaning your junk. I’m just sick of seeing it.

  7. 15 Vorpal
    March 24, 2013 at 6:56 am

    This is an interesting situation.
    In Canada, merely looking into someone else’s window is a criminal act.
    I don’t know whether the act makes any mention of any obligation on the part of the inhabitants to make such viewing difficult.

    All the best,
    –The Vorpal Swordsman

    • March 24, 2013 at 8:10 am

      Interesting indeed, Vorpal. :)

      I suppose in Canada it all depends on what you define as looking into someone’s window. We’re not trying to look into his window, ie we’re not setting up telescopes, looking in binoculars, leaning ladders up against the nearest tree and climbing up, etc. All we have to do is stand at our front window and we see it. Ever stood in front of a bunch of trees? You don’t notice anything if there’s no movement. As soon as you see some movement, your eye follows. The alternative is to avoid our front window in the morning, close our curtains, or tell the guy to in future please use his blinds. I chose the latter, so we’ll see how that works for us.

  8. 17 thebeadden
    March 30, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    It was hard not to laugh. Maybe a big sign taped to your window saying “I can see you” with a shower head. Or maybe he gets off on it. Who knows? So sorry to hear about your injury. All the best with both of your problems.

  9. March 31, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Well, if you have a little time on your hands between trying to civilize your neighbor and waiting for your leg to heal, here’s a fellow who might need a little help with his workers. ;)

    By the way – any progress on the rehab front?

    • March 31, 2013 at 7:04 pm

      Ah, the frozen flea circus story! If I were the owner, I’d be hopping mad. :)

      About the rehab: it will take time to get approved. I have a half-hour of physio coming up Tuesday, and I suppose 25 minutes of that will be filling out forms, paying the fee, and peppering them with questions on how to work on the leg on my own. But these two 30-minute sessions a week are only to tide me over til the rehab gets approved, after which I’ll be getting in line for a place. It’s going to take time.

  10. April 4, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    Well now you know there is a curtain not being put to good use, you also know your neighbor is an exhibitionist. I suppose it could be worse. Still it’s annoying that you don’t have the confidence that looking out your window won’t expose you to another unwelcome flesh show.

    • April 5, 2013 at 6:55 am

      I suppose it could be worse, you’re right. I can’t believe we are the only people who’ve complained about it, because we certainly can’t be the only ones who’ve noticed. Still, it would fit a pattern. Garbage and old furniture will be left lying around outside the building for days and days, but as soon as we complain to the so-called building management, it gets cleaned up if we don’t do it ourselves. There are hundreds of units in our complex, but we get the feeling nobody but us gives a damn about the place enough to even put in a phone call.


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